As we continue our #DadStories series for the month of June, we caught up with Tyler, a real estate broker and attorney who is originally from San Francisco. He has been staying in Oshawa Ontario, Canada with his husband Dominic for the arrival of their baby boy, Beau. When asked when he realized that he wanted to be a dad, Tyler said that he felt he wanted to be a father from a very young age. After leaving home, getting an education, and building a career, he started to think, “There is something else more significant than just me, otherwise what am I doing this for?”
Tyler and Dominic have been together for twelve years. They both wanted children and always talked about starting a family. In 2017, they attended the Men Having Babies conference in San Francisco and learned about the process of surrogacy. They also looked into fostering and adoption. In the end, they felt they wanted to be there from start to finish and hence, they decided upon surrogacy. Even through the process took them three and a half years, Tyler said, “surrogacy is not that complicated, just a lot of steps.” They started by finding an agency they liked and identifying an egg donor. From there, the fertility clinic dealt with the process of egg retrieval and fertilization. Tyler said their situation was distinct due to having multiple attempts. The first two were not successful. They achieved a pregnancy with their third surrogate. He added that they discussed having twins, as it is quite popular for LGBTQ couples where both partners want to be a biological parent. They decided to ease into fatherhood by having one child at a time.
Caught in midst of the pandemic, there were many unexpected turns for the soon-to-be fathers. In March, the U.S. - Canada border closed. This raised many questions including who would be there for Beau’s birth, how would they process his birth certificate and passport and how would they get him home. With the help of their agency and their attorney, the Canadian government granted them entry as intended parents for imminent birth. They had to quarantine for 14-days and would be in the country in case Beau arrived early. Beau was born a few days ago, 33 days after they arrived in Canada, and nearly three and a half years since they embarked on their surrogacy journey. He reminisced the first time he saw their baby boy, “It was an absolutely euphoric moment.”
After twelve years together, Tyler still stresses the importance of the team, the two of them. It is even more significant now that they are both dads and not just two guys in love. As two dads, they are taking turns. The first night was tough but Tyler is confident that they have a good rhythm going and he is looking forward to bonding with Beau. When asked whether it was “Love at first sight” for Beau, he said he loves Beau more and more every minute. “It’s exponential,” he said and continued with how he can’t believe it himself. “It’s been the best week of my life.’
What a great Father’s Day gift for Tyler and Dominic. We wish you the best!
Happy Father’s Day
Cotton the First